The best birthday ever

My endocrynologist recently confirmed that my thyroid levels are significantly low, again, and that I should get back on the medication regimen which should help my mood swings. I've not been feeling out-of-control lately, but I do still run the gamut of extreme emotions (just a bit less vocally). I was rearranging our bookshelf (removing books from the bottom tier to keep out of Jett's prying hands) and was collecting all of my pregnancy books for storage - but not before skimming the last chapters that might now apply to me, post-delivery. I was almost in tears of anger when I re-read some of my Ina May's "Natural Childbirth" book about how a laboring woman can pretty much affect her emotional and physical state during labor for a relatively painless experience - without drugs. What BS. And I was almost in tears because I was taking personal offense that my natural labor wasn't enough - that I shouldn't have been screaming for the duration of it. So, I'm still a bit sensitive, and randomly, and needlessly. (I felt also an extreme wave of guilt in perusing another book about how working moms were able to hang in there and breastfeed for 12 months, 18 months, 20 months, and I lasted not even 6...) Ech.

Anyway...point of the set-up above is to admit that I'm still super emotional. But with these emotional extremes, the good feelings are just as overwhelming. So when I say I love my son, I LOVE my son. I nearly want to cry about it (okay, not "nearly" - there may be one or two actual tears...). I feel so cliche' but it's absolutely the way I feel; my heart is so completely full with seemingly tangible love for this precious, gorgeous, perfect, little man. I pull up his Google pictures a few times a day and just stare at him, even though there are already pictures at my desk, on my computer, on my phone. It's like I can't get enough of him, like I'm addicted to him. I'm shaking my head right now at my inability to accurately capture in words how I love him. So cheesy...but I adore him. My birthday is on Monday (a Monday!) and I have a vendor dinner to go to that night so I won't even get to celebrate properly - or hang out with my son before he retires for the evening - and it's my official "on-notice" birthday to 30, but it'll be the best birthday ever because my life now is so very enriched because Jett is a part of it. I know, I know... could I be any more of a stereotypical baby mom? but I'm emotional and I can't help talking about how friggin' in love I am...

I feel like I've joined the game a little late - other friends are already madly, insanely in love with their 2-month-olds. I'm not feeling guilty about it; I was dealing with my own issues. I'm just grateful to be just happily in love and have the blues officially behind me.

Everything seems to be falling into place, and not just on the emotional front. I'm starting to get my regular routine back, which is a huge emotional/mental boost. Work is going well and I love that I can balance work and "life" without feeling guilty or making unwanted sacrifices in one or the other. Having Jamie Nanny in place makes me feel like I'm doing the absolute best where Jett's daily care is concerned, while still tending to my needs to be back in an office-setting, surrounding by adult colleagues. I'm also able to clean the house and do grocery shopping on a regular schedule, and I'm about to start getting back to the gym this week - I'm ecstatic to have some semblance of my old routine back. And we're able to go out to restaurants, to social events, to hang out with friends, and as long as we're prepared, Jett is easily and happily transported. He's truly now an enhancement to my life as we're pretty much able to do everything we used to do, but we get to bring him along for the ride. I'm already anxious for the days when he's older and I can't just strap him to my chest or in the carseat and transport him as easily/quickly/efficiently.

Quick Jett update: He's half-crawling, half-creeping still. I believe he's still creeping and not full-out crawling because of the hardwood floors. In his cotton pants, his knees have no grip on the slick floor, but he very easily glides across the wood on his belly. He seems to crawl more when he's upstairs on carpeted areas and there's a little bit of friction to keep his knees from sliding out from under him. He also seems to be chatting us up more frequently, and he's on his second tooth (he's got a bottom set now). Maybe it's just in my head but I also think that now that this second tooth has finally broken the surface, he doesn't seem to be in as much or as frequent pain (no constant Tylenol dosing...) His nap and bedtime sleep routine are still solid, with a standard, but brief once-per-night waking. He's been putting himself back to sleep when stirring, but he has developed a knack for kneeling, which is interfering with his ability to put himself to sleep when we put him down (sleepy, but awake) for naps. Nanny Jamie relayed to us that when she'd check in on him, he seemed to pop up on his knees and smile as though they were playing a game, and not tending to nap time...oh well. Everything else is going well. He's still eating well (we introduced meat - poultry - last week) and he laughs and seems to like hanging out with us.

At almost-29, life is good.