Too old to party all night (and too old to sell to the gypsies)

We've been trying, in vain, to convince Jett that at six months, he's far too old to continue waking multiple times each night. But our lecture, like many future ones to come, have fallen on deaf ears. While Jett has progressed on track with his six month milestones and is growing and maturing as expected (as anticipated!), we can't seem to get this sleep thing on track. And this single issue, during the nighttime hours, tends to overshadow his daytime accomplishments.

I don't believe we're setting unreasonable expectations; I'd settle for a once-per-night waking and be happy with that! Of course, while we struggle with this, it seems like everyone else with babies his age (or younger...) have eradicated their sleeping issues by now. And yes, I feel like we've done a fairly admirable job in stretching our patience for five months, and if nothing else, I feel like we simply deserve a sleeping child...And we're not delusional; we didn't think that just because Jett turned six months old that he would magically begin sleeping through the night. But, we're back to the lousy sleep patterns of a four-month-old Jett. It's starting to look like only the odd-numbered months are the semi-successful ones where sleep in concerned.

It's just frustrating, SOO frustrating, when we make progress one month and lose it the next. We were warned that babies are inconsistent and as they grow, their routines change, and there'd be plenty of "one step forward, two steps back" kinds of situations. But I can't seem to get that reality to sink in. Early last month, Jett was going to sleep without too much of a struggle, sleeping soundly, waking only once, and only after we were afforded a good six-hour stretch of uninterrupted slumber ourselves. And I immediately bookmarked this progress in my brain and celebrated a new milestone that our son could sleep. Then we went to Albuquerque and screwed up his sleep schedule, and then he got an ear infection for our first week back home. But it's been a week since then and we were hoping to get at least a glimpse of the January sleep routine, which still has yet to materialize. So, we're back to reading books on how to get our child to sleep.

When we were at Jett's recent well-baby visit this week, his pediatrician seemed disappointed to hear that he wasn't sleeping well and recommended a book after reminding me how important sleep is for babies and their health. Well duh. Obviously, we're not intentionally keeping our child from his slumber. It just sort of pissed me off. Like, we're already struggling with this issue, and I don't need to feel even more incompetent in this arena. I know she meant well but this is turning out to be quite the sensitive issue in the Mikkalson household and I am having trouble keeping my despair at bay when the subject comes up.

This may all come off as a bit whiny and I feel that ultimately, I'm going to look back on these blogs and think that I was a bit melodramatic in my early struggles with parenthood. But right now, I need to vent, and this is how I feel. Miserable in my incompetence to get my son to sleep.

And yet again, motherhood is making me feel like a manic-depressive. I can't cuddle and kiss Jett enough in the daytime hours, and genuinely look forward to playtime and mealtime with him and making faces and blowing raspberries on his tummy to make him laugh. He's just so adorable in his babbling and his expressions and his energy for playing and eating. We love that he's growing up in front of us! There really is some sort of chemical/hormonal reaction occurring when I hold him close and I just close my eyes and smell him in all his baby glory. And then the sun goes down and I just have lost all ability to deal with anything frustrating. Which is another touchy subject. I've been rather irritable and bitchy lately, of which Kenny has been the sole beneficiary. Not that he's been getting much sleep himself, though he seems to function better while I am internally melting down. We're both quickly approaching utter burnout - I thought we'd be better positioned by now and it's a hard step backward when we'd gotten a sweet taste of normal sleep levels last month. We may have to rearrange the budget again to get our night nanny back on board if this sleeping thing doesn't get to a manageable point soon.

To end on a positive note: Jett's well-baby visit went well. He's almost current on his immunizations, and was impressing the pediatrician with his flipping ability and his ability to stand. He's 26 inches long now (which is exactly average for his age), and a svelt 15 lbs, 2 oz. Though that's 3-4 lbs less than a few of his girlfriends of the same age, doc said that he's healthy in his "fit" physique (Kenny's term). She also gave us the go-ahead to start feeding him more solids so that it's a 50/50 split between food and formula, and that he'll be eating solids 3 x day. We're excited for the next check-up!