Hash browns

Kenny and I were watching this program on TV last weekend, called Two Weeks in Hell. It's some military vetting camp, like boot camp x 1000. These guys were put through some ridiculous and arduous physical tasks, all day long, for two weeks straight. Participants got disqualified for either breaking the rules or not being able to complete the task and plenty are pulled from the competition for medical issues. On day one, one of the activities was rolling on the ground, which doesn't seem so bad except that they made these guys roll for hours, in the mud, rolling straight over slower competitors. One guy got pulled for having become disoriented - go figure - with all the rolling. When the medic asked him a test question, "Do you know where you are?" he replied, "hash browns."
This rather perfectly sums up how life with an infant goes most days. So sleep deprived with no sign of a consistent schedule from one week to the next, and still not quite sure what you're doing in general...I feel a bit disoriented most days. Ah, hash browns.

Luckily, things are getting better. We are settling into some semblance of routine, for our pre-daycare mornings with me and post-school evenings with Kenny. We've even managed to fit in regular spots for weekly doctor visits, which are still required as Jett is still constantly sick. He's gone from one cold to the next without reprieve and we're sending him now to daycare sick, because we can't stay home with him full-time, which is what would be required. That's why we have daycare - to watch our child while we work. But so far, we're paying for weeks of care we're not using, and other weeks of care for him to catch additional colds. I don't dislike the daycare he's at, and I'm not sure that there's much they can do to prevent the seemingly inevitable and unending spread of germs in such a communal setting, but it's just not working for us, not now.

We have moved forward with Plan B - hiring a nanny. We posted a job via a reputable nanny site on December 28th and by January 3rd, we'd had almost 30 applications. Somehow, we narrowed the list to three, corresponded and met in person, and have found a perfect caregiver for Jett named Jamie. She's a recent college grad and currently works at a commercial daycare facility like where Jett goes now, as a teacher's assistant. She starts February 1st and we feel really good about having secured the help. We also had a night nanny start earlier this month, which guarantees us one night a week of uninterrupted, blissfully restful and worry-free slumber. She shows up at 10 pm, we hand over the baby monitor and head to bed. Whenever Jett wakes during the night, night nanny is on it. She's even trying to sleep-train him a bit - trying to get him to go back to sleep with just tummy or back rubs vs being picked up and rocked for 20 minutes. Then she's gone at 6 am and we start our day, well-rested and happy with life!

I've determined that should we temporarily lose our minds and decide to expand our family (not likely...), the only way we'll make it through another newborn, in the absence of family, is by hiring a night nanny. I feel like our first three/four months could have gone so much better - I could have avoided needless 3 am breakdowns, intense frustration with my child when I've no patience left to spare - and if we did this again, we would do it with at least a couple of nights of help. I wish we could keep our night nanny for longer, but once the daytime nanny is on board, there's no more budget for night nanny. Oh well. Hopefully Jamie will help us establish a sleep schedule with Jett and he'll be older and more mature next month anyway :) so maybe he'll just figure it out on his own.

Sleep is actually not the sensitive topic it used to be in this house. Within the past two weeks, Jett's somehow figured out that he can pass out on his own in anticipation of bedtime, vs giving us a run for our money trying to rock or bounce him for an hour. He's even sort of gotten a schedule down...this week at least...where he's been asleep in his bouncy chair right around 7 pm every night. This is a little early for us...a 7 pm bedtime, with a couple of night wakings, still makes for a very early rise - 5 am or so. A little early...but we've got a routine and getting him to sleep isn't the hour-long battle I truly thought might never change. We're not going to look a gift horse in the mouth and will be thankful for whatever progress we've made!!

Kenny and I are enjoying our time more with Jett now, which I think is because he's working on becoming a cute, regular little baby. He's not so fussy and we're starting to figure him out when he is. We feel so much more confident as parents now and that contributes a huge deal to how comfortable we are in just hanging out with Jett all day on the weekends. Until just this month, I sort of dreaded the weekend (crazy!) because it meant that we'd have to play steward to our son all day AND night long. Which seems like a rather obvious task for parents but...it would get pretty harried trying to keep him entertained and satisfied all day long, especially when he's so hard to get to nap...which has a direct and devastating effect on his disposition for the rest of the day...I think it helps that Jett's just older and enjoys a wider array of activities so there's more gadgets/toys in the house with which to keep him engaged and/or pacified.

And he's a doll. As he matures, I think he just gets cuter and cuter (I'm biased of course). And he's sooo happy most of the time - all smiles (especially for the ladies; Kenny calls him a flirt!) and he laughs and giggles now. I can't imagine how happy he'll be when he gets healthy - he's already pretty sweet when he's got a cold and feels crummy. Jett's also progressing right on time with his developmental milestones - he's reaching out and grabbing things, and is frequently trying to cram these things into his mouth. He rolls over onto his stomach the second you place him on his back, but he's not rolling the opposite way yet. He's also working on the position to crawl, but we'll see where that goes. He's drooling like the Hoover Dam broke - I keep waiting to see teeth but they have yet to emerge. We've been feeding him more rice cereal and he's had carrots and apples and will soon be sampling some mashed-up bananas. He's also been squealing a lot - a LOT - like he's trying out his vocal chords and likes the result. It's borderline shrieking, but still pretty cute. I love him so, so very much.

While things are going well on that front, I'm struggling a little with my body. I'm in the process of weening Jett, and I think I started off a little too aggressively because my milk supply dwindled, quickly, and I don't believe my brain was yet ready. Though I'm set on all other fronts to quit breastfeeding, there's a small portion of me that is truly sad to let this go. It's got to be the maternal hormones, holding out and wanting to provide for Jett. I don't know - I definitely didn't anticipate almost mourning my loss of lactation. So I'm slowing down the weening process to accommodate my mommy brain. With the breastfeeding cessation, I'm losing my swollen bosom (vanity, I know, but I will miss them...) and am wondering if I might start to gain a little weight now that I'm not burning an extra 500 calories a day. Though underweight at the moment, I'm feeling rather flabby and just unhealthy. My diet is decent enough at the moment, but I have zero muscle tone and it feels like it's been at least a century since I've had any intentional exercise. I'm sure this will all be remedied in time, but I just feel sort of blech right now.

So that was a long blog. I need to get in bed ASAP before my son's first waking...Cross my fingers for some long stretch of uninterrupted slumber!